Level Up! With Shay

It is a typical Sunday afternoon in southern California – beautiful, sunny, and TOTALLY RAD DUDE! It feels like I’m finally starting to get back to normal. The holidays took a toll on me this season. Great times in Illinois and St. Louis with family and friends for Thanksgiving, but then I had to leave. Christmas came around; I had the apartment to myself and two days off in a row from work. The circumstances sure seemed Christmas-like, but instead I was feeling like the Grinch or the Scrooge. I needed to be taking advantage of the opportunity and get STUFF DONE, not sitting on my couch binge watching The Good Place while ALSO binge eating the banana nut loaf my boss made me. A week later, New Years. Same thing. (Except no banana nut bread, sadly.)

I was stuck drowning in the shame and guilt I was putting on myself for not utilizing all the time I had! It was like holding my breath and BEGGING for air when all I needed to do was open my mouth and breathe.

After feeling depressed on both holidays, I reflected. It’s funny how weeks can go by when I can’t even find time to get the STUFF done that I want to, but yet, here I have 48 hours to do all of that STUFF and I avoid it at all costs. Ironic, right?

Me, being the life long personal development student that I am, tried to figure out why. Am I a lazy person? No. Am I afraid to try new things? No. To learn? No. Do I have the abilities and equipment necessary for the tasks I want to get done? Yes. Where was the resistance coming from? What kept me from getting off of my couch, going to my computer, putting my headphones on, and getting to work? A few answers came to me.

One – I had no clarity. If you’ve noticed, I have said STUFF a lot in this blog and there’s a reason for that. Believe me, I have A LOT of STUFF do to. I’m sure you do too! But who would want get off their couch, except for using the bathroom or making popcorn, to do STUFF?

ME: Alright Shay, let's get to work! What's on the agenda today? 

ME: Uhhhh...stuff? 

Not sure how much you get much accomplished with that type of vague and un-inspirational direction.

Two, and also in the clarity sphere – I was missing a goal. I currently have 15 songs (even more on the back burner) that I could and want to work on. Whether you make music or not, 15 items to choose from on your to-do list is pretty daunting and would typically give anyone crippling anxiety. So instead of choosing one task to focus on, I just focused on Kristen Bell for many hours straight (not mad about THAT).

Making goals is not some intricate chore; it’s very simple! But in the words of motivational speaker Mel Robbins, “It’s simple but it ain’t easy”. (Watch her viral Ted Talk “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over” HERE) A goal of mine could’ve been “finish lyrics on done song” or “add a kick, hi hat, and snare to one song”. These are small goals, but small goals make a BIG difference and they sure as hell make more of a difference than doing nothing at all.

It may sound like I’m beating myself over relaxing, resting, and just enjoying the holidays! To be clear, I’m not…I’ve already done that… haha. But I wanted to share my struggles with you because I think a lot of people can relate. I have learned that if I feel like I failed at something, then I reflect, reassess, forgive myself and move on.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

― Maya Angelou

Good Reads

Sundays are a great day to reflect and get in the right mindset for the week to come – I hope you have the chance to do that! If you have struggles you’d like to share or anything else, leave a comment, I’d love to hear!

Til next time,

Shay