Alignment Coaching | Shay Dominguez

Many people ask themselves: why do I procrastinate when I finally have free time?

The Holiday Slump

Ever notice how the moment you finally have time to work on the things you care about… you suddenly avoid them?

It was a typical Sunday afternoon in Southern California – beautiful, sunny, and TOTALLY RAD DUDE! It felt like I was finally starting to get back to normal.

While the circumstances sure seemed Christmas-like, I was feeling like the Grinch or Scrooge.

With all this free time, I felt I needed to take the opportunity to get STUFF DONE, not sitting on my couch binge watching The Good Place while simultaneously binge eating the banana nut loaf my boss made me.

A week later, New Years, same thing.
(Except no banana nut bread, sadly.)

I was stuck in freeze mode drowning in shame and guilt from not utilizing all the time I had! It felt like holding my breath and BEGGING for air when all I needed to do was open my mouth and breathe.

Why Avoidance Happens

After feeling pretty low on both holidays, I reflected.

When it’s any other time of the year, weeks go by where I cannot find any extra time to get STUFF done, but yet, there I was with a wide open 48 hours to do all that STUFF and I was avoiding at all costs.

Ironic, right?
(Cue Alanis Morissette)

Me, being the life long personal development student that I am, tried to figure out why.

Am I a lazy person? No.
Am I afraid to try new things? No.
To learn? No.
Do I have the abilities and equipment necessary for the tasks I want to get done? Yes.

Where was this resistance coming from? What was keeping me from getting off of my couch, going to my computer, putting my headphones on, and getting to work?

A few answers came to me.

1. Lack of Clarity

Avoidance isn’t laziness.
It’s usually lack of clarity.

If you’ve noticed, I have said STUFF a lot in this blog and there’s a reason for that.

Believe me, I have A LOT of STUFF to do. I’m sure you do too! But who would want to get off their couch, except for using the bathroom or making popcorn, to do STUFF?

Me: Alright Shay, let’s get to work! What’s on the agenda today?
Me: Uhhhh…stuff?

Not sure how much you accomplish with vague and un-inspirational direction.

2. Limiting Beliefs

Even if I knew I had 15 things of STUFF on my to-do list, I felt myself questioning:

“But which one? What if I start something but don’t know what to do? What if I pick the wrong one? What if I have inspiration for one, but lose it and then go to another? Do I have ADHD? What was I talking about again?”

Avoidance protects you from confronting:

• Failure – “What if I try and it doesn’t work?”
• Success – “What if things actually change?”
• Opportunity cost – “What if I choose the wrong thing?”

What I have learned with avoidance is many people feel they can’t deal with the reality placed in front of them.

Bills to pay? I can’t do that. I don’t have the money, confidence, or skills to find another way.
Conversation to be had? No way. I don’t have the words, the ability to express myself without sweating, shaking, and crying, or to remember what I was talking about in the first place.

So we avoid, life goes on changing, and we’re still stuck in the same patterns of an inability to take action.

3. The Survival Voice

And the voice telling me it was wrong to rest? That I needed to take advantage and get STUFF done?

It wasn’t me – it was the part of the ego that is on constant high alert for my safety.

I had trained myself – and been trained growing up – that safety was only in action, never rest.

Watching TV? You need to be doing chores!
Hanging out with friends? You should be at the gym practicing basketball!
Sleeping in? You should be out of bed by now!

A lot of times, the thoughts our brain creates aren’t necessarily “right,” it’s simply how it’s been trained.

Actually most people have been trained:

rest = danger
stillness = laziness

And no matter what age you are, you can train it a new way.

When we don’t understand these patterns, we assume something is wrong with us.
In reality, our brain is simply trying to protect us.

How To Stop Procrastinating When You Finally Have Free Time

1. Get clarity and set goals – mini ones!

Your brain cannot act on:
“Do stuff!”

It needs:
“Work for one hour”
“Write one paragraph”
“Record one video”

2. Take messy action.

Results aren’t going to appear externally first – the call is coming from inside the house!

The results:
You learn more.
You gain more experience, knowledge, skills.
You build the ability to face whatever is right in front of you.

Thankfully, it’s no longer tigers!

3. Practice nervous system regulation.

This practice is basically reparenting of yourself.

First, you have to be aware of and listen to what’s happening within you. What is that uncomfortable feeling trying to say?

Then, speak to it how you would your younger self, but in first person. “I am safe. I am ok to rest. It is safe to take messy action.”

Allow tears to come out if need be!

Pro tip: Look at yourself in the mirror! It’s wild how much more you can connect with yourself that way!

And when you’ve gotten through all you’ve needed to, shake your body, jump up and down, take deep breaths in and heavy sighs out, turn on some music and move your body! (All are options, not all are necessary.)

The point with that is to literally move the energy of the guilt, shame, overthinking, whatever it is, through your body so you can create space for more aligned thoughts and feelings to come through.

YOU GOT THIS

This is a practice, not a one time thing, so be gentle with yourself.

When you find yourself procrastinating… pause, turn off the screens, noise, distractions and be with yourself.

It’s never too late to give yourself the love, care, and compassion you’ve never experienced before.

Where in your life are you waiting for results before taking action?

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If you constantly feel pulled between ambition and exhaustion, you’re not broken — you’re probably just operating from misalignment.

This is exactly the work I explore with creatives who want to stop fighting themselves and start building from clarity.

Interested? Book a discovery call here.

Til next time,

Shay

Originally published January 5th, 2020. Updated March 2026.