Level Up! With Shay

Five years ago, in the middle of the pandemic, I sat down (virtually) with Edgar Momplaisir – actor, writer, improviser, and all-around creative force.

We’ve all heard that before, right?

Want a promotion? Just ask!
Want to ask someone on a date? Just ask!
Need help on a project? Just ask!

“The worst they can say is no.”

But that line has always made me pause.

Because when people say that, they’re already admitting that no is something bad. Something to fear or avoid.
But what if it’s not?

What if a “no” is actually a good thing… you just don’t know it yet?

Let’s break this down.

We say “the worst thing they can say is no” because we obviously want them to say yes. We’re hoping for a win. A connection. An opportunity.

And that’s fine! That’s human.

But here’s where things get sticky:
When we expect a yes, and we get a no, we don’t just walk away unchanged – we take it personally.

We let it mean something about us.

“They said no, so I must not be good enough.”
“They said no, so I must be annoying.”
“They said no, so I must be talentless, ugly, unworthy, whatever…”

But here’s the truth:
Most suffering in life comes from one thing – expectations.

Now, I’m not saying we should eliminate all expectations. Expectations can be healthy. They give us something to aim for.

But when our expectations are rigid – and tied to our self-worth – we’re setting ourselves up for unnecessary pain.

And here’s another twist…

A lot of the time, when we’re asking for something – a yes, a favor, a chance – we’re focused on what we want to get.

But what if we approached those moments with a different mindset?

What if we asked with the intention to give?

• You’re not just asking your boss for a promotion – you’re offering them better leadership, more streamlined processes, and stronger results.
• You’re not just asking someone out – you’re offering them a fun, adventurous night to connect and enjoy life.
• You’re not just asking your creative hero to help on your project – you’re inviting them into something new, fresh, and meaningful.

When you shift your mindset from “I hope they say yes so I feel okay,” to “I know I have something valuable to offer,” everything changes.

Watch the full episode with Edgar Momplaisir here, where we talk all about embracing discomfort, creative courage, and why putting yourself out there is always worth it – even when the answer is no.

And if this message hit home for you, let this be your reminder:
You are not defined by who says yes to you.
You’re defined by what you’re brave enough to offer, regardless of the outcome.

Go out there and keep asking.
Because what you have to give? It’s gold.

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