Level Up! With Shay

Have you ever heard the saying, “The tongue is a powerful weapon”?

It’s actually in the Bible. And ever since I stumbled into the world of manifestation, I’ve become hyper-aware of the words I use. Sometimes I’ll even catch myself thinking something and choose not to say it out loud – just in case I accidentally create a reality where that thought manifests.

In many ways, this awareness is helpful. I avoid complaining, gossiping, or giving power to limiting beliefs by speaking them into existence. But over time, I’ve also realized that this practice can become a trap. It can keep me from expressing myself honestly – even to myself.

Recently, I discovered my Human Design (fascinating stuff), and learned that one of the best ways for me to process and problem-solve is by talking things out. So… here I am. Writing this blog. Talking it out.

This lesson showed up for me – surprise surprise – at the gym.

(I actually wrote a recent blog about cold plunging into a lake! Read it here!)

I made a personal promise: cold plunge after every workout. Then treat myself with a sauna afterward (the fun part).

• Day 1: It sucked. But I had people cheering me on, so I got through it.
• Day 2: I paced around the tub, muttered the F-word on repeat, and slowly lowered myself in.
• Day 3: I was annoyed at how long I took last time, so I just dove in.

But Day 4 is where something shifted.

I found myself pacing and repeating in my head:

“I don’t want to do this. I do not want to do this.”

Here’s where all my manifestation training kicked in. Don’t say it out loud! Saying it gives it power. Saying it makes it real. Instead, I should just override that thought and DO IT.

That, my friends, is what we call toxic positivity.

The personal development world loves to preach:

“F*ck how you feel. Just do it.”

And sure, sometimes we need a little push. But for me, constantly suppressing how I felt – just to power through – eventually disconnected me from myself. I stopped checking in. I lost compassion for my own feelings.

So this time, I did something radical:
I said the quiet part out loud.

“I don’t want to do this,” I muttered.

I said it again. And again.

Until I reached an honest realization: I don’t have to do this.

No one’s making me. I could just go home. Dry. Comfortable. Done.

But… I didn’t want to.

So I asked myself, Why do you want to do this?

Not from guilt. Not from pressure. From purpose.

And here’s what came up:
Because I want to train myself to do hard things.
Because I know that discomfort in the gym helps me handle discomfort in life.
Because if I can say no to ease here, I can say no to that cookie and yes to water later.
Because I don’t want to build a habit of quitting.

And that’s when I realized – I’m not doing this because I have to.
I’m doing it because of who I want to become.

Because I wasn’t forcing myself anymore. I was choosing – on purpose – to align with the kind of person I want to be.

Yes, this story is about asking the right questions.
Yes, it’s about digging into your why.

But more than that, it’s about saying the quiet part out loud.

I’d been so afraid to admit my feelings. I thought, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” But the truth is, those feelings – especially the uncomfortable ones – just want to be seen and heard.

And once I gave space to the thought “I don’t want to do this,” I was able to ask a better question:
Where is this coming from? What do I really want?

That’s how you build self-trust.
Not just with your strong, confident thoughts – but with the scared, hesitant ones too.

That’s how you get to know the real you.

What’s something you’ve been avoiding – and what might change if you let yourself say the quiet part out loud?

Share with me in the comments! I’d love to see.

Talk soon,
Shay

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