My life has been a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts lately.
To say the least, I have been leveling up and expanding my comfort zone more and more.
And it’s been scary. 🙈
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Because when you expand your comfort zone, your brain starts racing like “Whoa hey, what are you doing? Whoa hey, you’re out there doing big girl things, what’s this all about? Whoa hey, you’re not qualified for this, why don’t you sit back and relax instead?”
Imposter syndrome to the MAX! (Anyone else? ✋🏻)
But through the internal work I’ve done throughout the past 7 years of my life, I can see these thoughts, recognize them as habitual patterns and give myself space to move through them and make a decision to solidify my progress.
Awareness, space, decision.
I think it’s safe to say we’d like to have more good thoughts than bad. We’d like to cool it with the doubts, insecurities, and fears, right?
That’s kind of like saying we’d like to have more good times in our life than bad or challenging times. And as good of a utopia as that sounds, that’s just not something we can control.
What we have control over is our attitude!…
…But let’s be honest, sometimes we have such deep and ingrained negative feelings that our attitude is then determined by our past thoughts rather than our current knowledge of ourselves.
And NO that’s not ideal. Of course it would be easier to just think “Believe in yourself! You are enough!Be yourself!” instead. But let’s not sit here and pretend that beating ourselves up about not currently feeling those positive emotions is the answer.
Forcing yourself to feel happy in a sad situation is not only uncomfortable, but it also can be detrimental to our emotional, mental, and physical health.
And if you’ve been to one of my laughter and mindfulness events, I share tools on how to be happy in stressful situations. These exercises are not to replace negative feelings, but rather ways to move THROUGH them.
AWARENESS
In order to make any type of progress or decision, we have to be aware of what the present moment is offering us.
Do you know that you are not your brain or your body – both of which are machines that have been programmed?
YOU are actually the observer of it ALL.
As the observer, you have the ability to step into a place of awareness, an eagle eye’s view of your life and the world around you and recognize your thoughts as something your body creates through years of training, but it’s not who you are.
And those thoughts are not something you have to continue to think.
So the key isn’t to not have negative thoughts, the key is the awareness of those thoughts.
In a negative situation, you may think “This is the worst thing ever” but before you move into a black hole of negative thoughts, you can step back and become aware of that initial thought.
“Well that’s interesting. This certainly isn’t the worst thing ever. Yes, the situation feels heavy and very close to me and I acknowledge my feelings and my thoughts about all of it. However, I know my power in this moment is to focus on what I want to create. And I create through my thoughts. I will take a few deep breaths and I will stay aware and change my thinking one thought at a time.”
SPACE
Question for you – What do we need to move through…ANYTHING?
A hallway, traffic, a busy airport?
We need SPACE.
What do we need to move through our emotions?
The same thing…SPACE.
If I told you someone in France lost their job today, you’d probably say “That’s unfortunate”. If I told you that a close family member of yours lost their job today you’d be getting on the phone to call them. If I told you that you were losing your job today, it would hit much harder.
Why? Because there is less space between you and the circumstance of someone losing their job.
For myself, when negative thoughts would arise, I would fight them. I would work harder and longer, trying to prove myself to other people but also to my brain and the thoughts it was creating.
Now when I have similar thoughts, I give them space to breathe. I take a break, allow myself to recognize the thoughts, move into a better headspace, and get back to work more focused, inspired, and creative.
So if we can bring that idea of SPACE into our thoughts, we can move through our emotions and get back to center quicker.
DECISION
This is where the decision comes in. The decision to think differently.
My recent anxious thoughts and feelings take me back to my childhood where I didn’t feel or think I was good enough or worthy enough, I didn’t feel accepted, and I was scared to put the real me out into the world.
Before, I would hear those thoughts, agree with them and run and hide. But now, I see them, I hear them, and I am reminded of the TRUTH.
I AM good enough.
I AM worthy of being accepted.
I AM worthy of being the real me.
Remember that no thought we think is a fact. They are all up to our interpretation. But the TRUTH to the core of our being will always be the truth.
You are good enough.
You are worthy of being accepted.
You are worthy of being the real you.
“The biggest lie is the lie we tell ourselves in the distorted visions we have of ourselves, blocking out some sections, enhancing others. What remains are not the cold facts of life, but how we perceive them. That’s really who we are.”
– Kirk Douglas
How do you give yourself space to move through negative thoughts and feelings?
Thanks for reading! Comment below and share any thoughts! I’d love to read them.
Talk to you next week…
Shay ♥️
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