Who You Are vs. Who You Want to Be

A couple days ago, I asked myself “What type of person do I want to be?” and “Who do I want to be known as?”

(Psst. This is part of an email series I send out every Tuesday. Sign up here!)

They seem like very logical and important questions, right?

Especially when building a brand and a business. Ya gotta figure out marketing, social media bio, the look and colors, make sure it all lines up and is up to par.

But as I started to answer those questions, I felt this wave of unworthiness come across me. Which was followed by the thought, “Wow I’m going to have to change so much to be that person”.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out what that feeling was – shame.

I started to dig a little deeper to see what was behind that feeling.

“Wait, what type of person do I want to be? What is wrong with the person I am RIGHT NOW? And who do I want to be known as? Am I afraid to show up as the person I am at this moment?”

I’ve always been a striver. Sometimes it has been for my benefit and others to my detriment. But overall I’ve found a good balance between striving, growing, and doing and then simply… being. It’s taken me a while to find it and I still continue learning through living life.

Because of this, I’ve been accustomed to ask myself questions that can help align me with who I want to be and what I want to accomplish in life.

But there’s one important distinction –

Who I am and what I accomplish are two completely different things.

Who I am is the core of my being, of my soul.
What I accomplish is merely a result of actions I take.

Who I am is how I see my inside world.
What I accomplish is how most of the outside world sees me.

Who I am is love.
What I accomplish is what I produce through that love.

When I asked myself those questions the other day I thought I had to change who I was to accomplish what I wanted.

But the truth is, I will never accomplish what I want if I have to change who I am.

Now, will I ever have to change what I DO? Sure. Life moves around, adjustments need to be made, and circumstances in life change. And when those times arise, I do as well – as I’ve always done.

However, I’ve lived so much of my life focusing on trying to change WHO I AM in order to fit a mold or please other people instead of learning who I am, not wavering, and then adjusting what I do – how I interact and communicate with others, what I put out into the world, and how I react to what I experience.

If you’re always thinking that you have to become someone you aren’t already, then you’re chasing a facade. (K ind of like we talked about last week).

You’re stepping out of your power of YOU.

And, in turn, whatever you want to create, produce, or bring into this world, as you come from that place of being – chasing the facade – what you DO will never feel right because it’s not really yours.

It’s not coming from your soul. It’s coming from the person you think you should be.

Wouldn’t it be so much fun to accomplish all the things you want to accomplish just by being authentically, genuinely, and beautifully YOU?

I think so.

Be you FIRST. Then do what it is that you do.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

What does being ‘yourself’ mean to you? What do you love about yourself now?

Feel free to comment below! Or write it down for yourself! 🙂

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

Til next week…
Shay

Keep an eye out: If you’ve lived for other people a lot of your life, coming to the realization of who you truly are can tend to ruffle some feathers. Mostly with the people closest to you. But that does not mean you should back away from being YOU. The right people will stay by your side and support you all the way. Stay tuned for next week where I’ll go into more detail about this 🙂

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Join me in a laughter and mindfulness online workshop this Saturday, February 26th at 1pm EST! Future dates available as well! Save your spot today!