Hello and welcome to Level Up! With Shay! I’m so happy you’re here!
(P.S. This is also a podcast which you can listen to here.)
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Can you believe it’s almost already the new year? Yes, I am that person. January 1st 2022 is coming at a very quick pace. It’s easy to forget about the New Year because I’m so wrapped up in Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then the New Year is RIGHT THERE!
And you know what always comes with the new year? Yes, New Year’s resolutions. I used to create New Year’s resolutions out the wazoo! All of the things I was going to start in the New Year! On the 1st…preferably. I’d write all these goals I wanted to accomplish and habits I wanted to start.
But over the past couple years, I’ve been more of the opinion that…and I don’t say the word ‘hate’ often…I hate New Year’s resolutions. I hate the idea of them. The pressure of them. And I’ll tell you why.
The first reason…PEOPLE PUT THEM OFF.
People don’t create New Year’s resolutions on New Year’s Day, they usually start making resolutions a few days or weeks before the new year starts. And then they have their list and they say “I’m going to start all of this on January 1st!”
Now, the reason people do this is to make a big deal out of New Year’s resolutions due to the hype of “new me/best self/new beginning/fresh start” concepts that come along with the new year. I understand that, it’s new, it’s fun, but people put them off!
If I know anything about personal development, creating habits that stick, and becoming the person you TRULY want to be, it’s all about the NOW. You want to start going to the gym? Go to the gym starting December 14th. Or December 28th. Whenever you set your resolutions, start doing them NOW! You want to drink more water in 2022? Drink more water today. Right now.
Go get a glass of water and drink it.
Go, I’ll wait.
And I know this from experience. I’ve set goals, not even necessarily New Year’s resolutions, but just regular goals.
For instance, I’d set a goal on a Friday to start a diet on the following Monday. And why is that? Why didn’t I start on the Friday? Because, well I had plans to go out and party with my friends! I didn’t want to give up the alcohol I was destined to drink or the pizza or McDonald’s we’d get after getting sloshed. I wanted to LIVE! Whatever that means. And so I’d say “the diet can wait until Monday” and I’d put it off.
Guess how many times those diets worked?
ZERO.
And the idea of diets working…that’s another discussion.
I mean, would I START my diet on Monday? Yes! I would! But was I serious about it? Nope! Or even happy? Hell no. I mean, the first week was just trying to get the weight off that I had gained over the weekend drinking and eating fast food. But the diet or eating healthy obviously didn’t mean THAT much to me because I put it off in the future. If it would have really meant something, if I was really serious about CHANGING, then I would have started it on Friday.
You know when people say “I will do this when ‘this’ happens” or on ‘this day I’ll do this’? Do the people you know who say that actually ever get started? Or are they always, perpetually waiting for something outside of them to be perfect in order for them to change?
You may not feel like starting right now, but I mean, can you be honest with yourself? When are you going to be ready to create a better life for yourself?
I’ve sat down a week before the year’s end and I’ve made resolutions: go to the gym five times a week, read a book 15 minutes a day, you know, floss one time a week, up from zero times a week the year before, you know, making progress! I wasn’t ready to create a better life for myself in the moment, I was ready to create a better life for myself in the future.
YIKES! No wonder it never came! It was always in the future!
And let me propose this…let’s say you do actually set your resolutions and you’re SO SURE, 100% dedicated that you will start on the first and continue. Ok fair enough. But can we talk about the what if? If you’re not 100% dedicated to something, there is ALWAYS a what-if amendment at the bottom of the contract with yourself. It’s in the fine print.
You say you’re going to start on the 1st? What excuse are you going to make when the 1st comes around and you don’t feel like it? People give a lot of room for the “what ifs”. For example, so many people have it as their goal to start going to the gym on the 1st. How many people who want that, also go out and party to celebrate the new year? I do not know the statistics, but I’m sure it’s a lot of people.
So, you go out and party and the first day of 2022 rolls around – no gym. “Well, I didn’t expect to get that drunk. I’ll start tomorrow.” “My friends were doing something and I didn’t want to miss out” “It’s the last day of 2021! Gotta go out hard and live a little!”
Seriously, do not put it off! Start them NOW!
Another reason I hate New Year’s resolutions?
People do not identify with their goals.
If I could use my diet as an example again, when on it, I’d be eating salad, oatmeal, tuna, all of this food that was good for me. One might say I was a healthy person.
But why did I feel so miserable?
This must be what healthy people deal with on a daily basis – bored, on diets, and super strict. Like, doesn’t it seem like people who really get serious on January 1st about their goals are miserable? “Ugh I gotta go to the gym today because I made a resolution. Ugh I gotta get up early because I made a resolution.” Awful! So being on the diet just felt awful! I didn’t feel like a healthy person – instead, I felt I was still an unhealthy person, just on a diet. Which SUCK! That was how I identified myself.
When people make New Year’s resolutions, they are giving responsibility to their future selves! That’s interesting! What if they gave the responsibility to themselves? Today?
Because as it turns out, if you don’t choose to be responsible with your desires and goals now, your future self…
wait for it…
will actually be the same person you are right now!!!
The same person who doesn’t want to start. You have to be that person NOW!! You have to identify now with who you want to be. You want to be a healthy person who eats healthy foods? Well healthy people don’t wait to start that. They already do it because they are healthy people!
If you’ve ever heard the rule about how to write affirmations it’s that you put it in the now –
I am a healthy person.
I am dedicated to my goals.
I am someone who keeps promises to themselves.
You never want to say “I am going to be a healthy person. I am going to be dedicated to my goals. I am going to be someone who keeps promises to themselves.” You are not identifying as the person you want to be, you are identifying as the person who is not, but WANTS to be those things! And living in a state of perpetual desire and want is MISERABLE!!!
New Year’s resolutions sound really nice in theory! You want to be a healthy person? Oh that sounds fun! Until it’s the time to do what healthy people do. It’s time to leave work or your home to go to the gym when it’s cold outside and raining or you’re tired from the day – and all of a sudden “being dedicated to your goals” is negotiable. Because you’re not a person who is actually dedicated to your goals – you are someone who WANTS to be dedicated to their goals.
Not taking advantage of the present moment and always waiting for something in the future is miserable. Don’t do it.
Alright, last reason I hate New Year’s resolutions… PEOPLE ARE TOO STRICT.
This past year I discovered a lot about myself. I have been able to work from home which has been amazing and I have been able to make my own schedule and allow my days to flow rather than clocking in and out at a job. This type of structure allowed me to have a little more freedom with how I wanted to live my life.
I used to make resolutions like “go to the gym 5 times a week” and anytime I missed, I would be upset with myself. I was super strict. Go to the gym 5am-7am!! Well, what if I don’t go to the gym? Am I a bad person? Am I an unhealthy person?
And my goals have changed too. I used to have goals to have a 6 pack and to get down to a certain weight, have a certain amount of muscle mass, etc. Nowadays, I just strive to be healthy. And I’ve been able to enjoy food more, enjoy exercise more, and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and closest to a 6 pack than ever before… 😉
These past few months, I was really going to the gym everyday, but then I felt called to pause for a bit and do some at home yoga. I had just moved into a new place and I felt it was right to spend some time getting quiet. But if my goal was to go to the gym 5 times a week and I was so strict on that, then my yoga journey would have never come to me. It was not only an amazing experience – Yoga with Adriene on YouTube, by the way – but now that I have had that experience, I can do yoga at home any time.
I do understand that there is discipline that comes with setting goals and getting what you want, but where’s the line you cross from setting goals, having discipline, being strict and setting goals, having discipline and being happy?
My goal is to be happy.
And by happy, I don’t mean all happy-go-lucky, always smiling – by happy I mean, at peace, grateful. And I’m not going to start on the first of January, it’s happening right now.
So as we go into 2022 and you really have the desire to better yourself please consider a few things – stop putting your resolutions off and start today, identify as the person you strive to be, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem, and be easy on yourself.
I am not against goals or discipline, I am against the ways in which we tend to approach these concepts. If we truly want to be free people, which I think that’s what most, if not all of us want, then let’s live with more flow and allow ourselves that freedom.
Not freedom to do and eat and drink whatever we want, but the freedom to DECIDE to make positive decisions for ourselves. Open up space for healthy decisions and you’ll leave space for more to come in.
I wish the best for you on your new year’s – whatever that looks like. I’ll be talking with you a few more times before that but I wanted to record this a few weeks before just in case you had been thinking about setting resolutions and maybe this gave you not only a catalyst to start, but a way to feel better about the new year.
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
This blog post is also a podcast episode on Level Up! With Shay. You can listen here.
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