Level Up and Step Through the Door to Greatness

Hey there 🙂

Recently, I’ve been feeling called to bring the Level Up! With Shay podcast back. It starts with, as silly as it sounds, a social media post idea. A quote or statement I want to share with the world. Share with you. Then, as I come out of the depths of some lesson in my life, I feel pulled to share it even more. And when I don’t act on those feelings, I feel a sense of holding back. Retreating. Not being my authentic self. I feel that if I go through these challenging times, as I level up in my life, and don’t share them with you, I am doing a disservice to not only myself, but to anyone out there who could use these words.

In my life, I’ve had to give a lot of myself up to feel safe. Growing up as a closeted lesbian in a small town of 600 people in southern Illinois, I felt like everything I did was to please someone else. Because if they did not feel pleased, I would be found out, and therefore, would not be loved. So throughout the years, growing up and in hopes to find out who I really am, I had taken it upon myself to live for me. Not for anyone else.

But who is me? Am I Shayelle Dominguez, a girl who grew up as a closeted lesbian in a small town of 600 people in southern Illinois? A girl who played basketball all throughout college and went on to get her MBA? A girl who left all that and decided to pursue improv in Los Angeles, CA? Well, that is my story. But in all that is true, that is not ME.

That is all just surface stuff. That’s what I was living for. I was living for my made up story. What IF a closeted lesbian from a small town of 600 people in southern Illinois made it BIG?! Wow! What a perfect and beautiful story that would be! And she would be so loved! So anything that got me from point A to point B (to feel love) is what had to happen. Sorry to anyone who gets in my way. Because no matter what, I have to get to point B because I have to feel that love. If that means dropping people who aren’t going to get me to that place, so be it. If that means sacrificing my health so I can grind, so be it. If that means putting on a mask that everything is ok when it’s not, so be it. I found myself molding into other people’s expectations so I could get that love I always longed for. I didn’t speak up when the knot in my stomach got tighter, inviting me to open my mouth. I let go of my values over and over again because, well, it seemed like letting the scenario happen was a lot easier than making waves and possibly lose the love I thought I would get from it.

The truth was, while it seemed like I wasn’t making waves out in the world, I felt like I was drowning internally. With every wave of success, I could barely catch my breath. The pressure to make my “story” a reality and achieve all the love I’d imagined surmounted any type of happiness I could grasp at. So I hid.

This was me living for myself. I thought that since I didn’t get the love I wanted before in my childhood, I’ll just have to prove that I am loveable through action, work, wearing masks and holding back my authentic self. I thought I was on a journey to have all my riches, happiness, and fame fulfilled. What I was really on was a journey to find out how to love myself. Because nothing literally matters, or will seem to matter, if you do not have self-love. I’m still on that journey today. And I will be my whole life.

I’ve learned this. There are a few constants in this world. One is love. It’s like a hose that’s always on. You can either let it flow or scrunch it up in a knot and block it. I no longer search for love through external validation. Love is always with me. It’s who I am. What I seek now is greatness.

I’m not on a mission to achieve a status or collect as much Bitcoin as I can (that’s the new $ bill I hear). I am on a mission to reach my fullest potential. To be my greatest, most authentic self. I am on a mission to wake up everyday, open the door to greatness and step through.

Well, how does one open the door to greatness and step through?

The ONLY way you are able to step through the door to greatness is to be YOU. Authentically YOU. You don’t walk through by handing the bouncer a $20 cover. You don’t walk through by showing them your 1 million followers on Instagram. The price of admission is knowing your values and aligning with them. You know your values, by the way, don’t act like you don’t. If you say “I don’t know my values” you’re lying. And you’re lying because your values are calling you to level up. And that’s scary. They’re calling you to have hard conversations. To make a decision whether to stay with a partner or not. To try stand up comedy for the first time!

What this means is that when an opportunity comes to walk through the door to greatness, it won’t be all happy-go-lucky. You might shed some tears. You might have to let some people down. You might have to say yes to something that SCARES THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!!

And you have to pay attention because the opportunity comes when your values are tested. In the hard times!!! That is when the door to greatness appears. And from that, you have a choice. You can run away from your values and give in to whatever you think you’re getting out of the situation – love, acceptance, progress in your career – or you can re-ground yourself, stay firm in your values, and step through.

This is scary. Believe me, I know. And if you’re reading this, I am SURE you’ve come across this type of scenario in your life. I want to say this – congratulations. You have been called to greatness.

One of my favorite rappers, J. Cole has a song that reminds me of this idea. It’s called “Apparently”. I encourage you to listen to the song, but at the end of the chorus he has these lyrics – “I don’t know why you call on me. Apparently, you believe in me.”

In these difficult and scary situations we face, when we are being called to level up, it is because there’s something out there ready to show you something greater. Right through those doors.

Greatness has a fee and that fee is growth. You can be great.

It’s time to level up.

Thanks for reading! This blog post is also a podcast episode on Level Up! With Shay. You can listen here.

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