I had the immense pleasure of speaking with my friend and mentor, Skip, for this week’s Level Up! With Shay episode. He moved from NYC to Los Angeles in 2018 and is already about to launch a fitness app Coachee, a customized nutrition and training program, and has a solid base of clients for his personal training business. He is truly leveling up in every sense! If you’ve listened to the episode, you know his story is incredible and of course he had so many gems of wisdom to share. Here are my three favorite!
1. Live Your Life
“If I can’t be me around you, then I don’t want to be around you.”
Skip says he spent 50 years uncomfortable in his skin. He is now 54 years old. Growing up in New York, knowing he was gay and unable to express himself, he was buried under the expectations put on him from his family and friends. Even though working as a hairdresser entertainment, being around many gay men who were free to be themselves, Skip was still unable to break free and let himself shine. He finally got sick of not being comfortable, so slowly but surely, he regained his confidence. He admits he’s not 100% there (makes sense after 50 years!) but each and every day he does the work in order for him to be fully himself. And he stays away from those who don’t love him for HIM.
As a fellow gay person, I completely related to Skip’s story. I believe anyone who is gay and was born after 1990 is truly blessed to live in a society that is more accepting of different types of love other than just heterosexual. Of course, it still has it’s issues, but it is a much safer place nonetheless. And I haven’t spent 50 years hiding who I am, but it definitely has taken me time to build up my confidence after having to hide myself for so long because it might have made someone else uncomfortable. The important lesson here is to LIVE. YOUR. LIFE. You can’t let others judgement and opinion of you push you into a life where you have to hide who you are. Eventually, hopefully, you will find out that those opinions mean nothing and you will be much happier being yourself, even if that means people may disagree.
2. Become Familiar With Failure
“If you don’t know failure, then you will not know success.”
Skip talked a lot about how failing has led him into success. He even says he is still failing even with his businesses and relationships! But failure is NOT fatal! He shares that you have to fail your way to success. If you never experience failure then you’re not even trying. Of course, I couldn’t agree with Skip more. I used to think I failed a lot, but really, I was taking a lot of chances. And I don’t think those are the same thing. Taking chances, to me, is trying something with no expectations. Failing is having expectations, falling short, raising the expectations and trying again. Over and over and over. So become familiar with failure in that you’re shooting for something, not just trying something out. I am going to fail more as well. Because with enough failures and perseverance, success will come!
3. Connect First
Allow your creativity to flow by your connection with your inner being. Skip is a HUGE fan of the work of Abraham and Esther Hicks. If you’ve never listened to their talks, I highly recommend! Find them on Spotify! The main point they make is before doing any work or taking any action, you must connect with your inner being/higher-self/God/whatever you call it. Skip never “works hard” for any client, for any project, or anyone. He first gets a connection. If he is feeling grumpy, tired, cranky, stressed, foggy-headed, etc. he will go do something else like take a nap, watch tv, go for a walk, anything that takes his mind off of the work he needs to do. Then when he is clear, he is free to work and love doing it at the same time! Gets in a flow!
You know when you’re working on something you love and before you know it, a few hours have passed by? This is what it means to work through the connection with your higher-self. This is where you come alive and your creativity flows. Whether you work in tech, in the arts, education, it doesn’t matter, you are creative. Where do you think that creativity and your great ideas come from? Your brain certainly doesn’t come up with them. I’m not trying to talk to you into believing in a higher source if you don’t already, but I believe that those grand thoughts are in connection with the all-knowing consciousness we all have access to. It’s truly beautiful! As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to be grateful for that type of power and have found my connection with it when I create more important than anything else.
Wow! Such great ideas! I loved sharing writing about them! Hope you enjoyed as well. Which lesson do you vibe with the most?? Comment below! I’d love to hear!
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