“That which you do not hate, you will eventually tolerate.” – Malcom X
I have been taught all my life to be grateful above all else and while I do not disagree with that, I also feel that having to feel grateful all the time NO MATTER WHAT can leave a bad taste in your mouth. At least it did for me.
“I want a bike!”
“Well be grateful for what you do have. Kids in Africa don’t have bikes.”
“I want those cool jeans that everyone has!”
“There are kids who don’t have dinner, you know? Be grateful!”
If you are reading this, I will assume that you have a lot to be grateful for. You have a phone or some type of device, you have connection to the internet, whether that is at your home or at a Starbucks (where I currently am), either way, you have an opportunity to information. Oh! Like I mentioned, you also probably have a home. And those are just the “basics,” at least of what I can assume. Now, say, you tell me you want a newer phone or a bigger home and I say to you “just be grateful for what you have!” Not very motivational or solution-focused, right?
Well, I just turned 30 and I’m just realizing that’s how I have lived my life up until now. In the past, when I wanted something better, something newer, something bigger, I would take a step back “well I’m just not grateful for everything I have now” and so that leaves me with a feeling of lack, guilt, and selfishness. And repeat. Can anyone relate???
So now, in the learnings of my habits (and possibly desperation of making up for lost time) I will say this…I hate where I’m at. I rarely use the word “hate” and I never use it to describe my feelings towards someone, but I’m sticking with it in this instance. Let me be clear, I AM grateful for my friends and family who support me, I AM grateful for a roof over my head that I can pay for, I AM grateful for a car that can take me anywhere (and some new tires), however if I could go back 5 years ago, look into this moment, and see what is in my bank account, what job I’m at, what bills and debt I have, what progress I’ve made towards the life I really want to live, I would be very disappointed.
I also always thought that hating something in my life meant that I also hate myself. Learning to separate your circumstances from yourself is one of the most important keys on the road to success. Big Sean can’t hate himself while he’s driving his Toyota and become Big Sean! But he can hate his circumstances enough that any moment he has the opportunity to change them, he takes it. I can confidently say I haven’t hated my life enough. I’ve gotten comfortable. I think it’s ok to pay my bills and not have money saved at the end of the month. I think it’s ok to be at a job where there’s a cap on my salary when I know my work and worth is way more than that. I’ve had an injury with my hip for the past two years that’s left me unable to run and that’s because I’ve just been ok being able to walk because, well, there are some people who can’t walk – be grateful! I’ve been comfortable enough.
As you can see, or maybe feel, this is very personal to me, but I am sharing it with you because I don’t want you to get comfortable. You see what happens when people get comfortable. Look around you! Mondays are terrible, Fridays are the best, the weekends are too short, Wednesday is great because that means it’s almost the weekend but it still sucks because it’s not the weekend. Why do people stay in jobs they don’t like? Jobs with no incentive to get better and do more because you get the same pay anyway? Why do they stay in relationships that don’t serve them? Why do they want more money to travel, more money to buy things that bring them joy, more money to buy presents for others and spread the joy, but they never look for a better job with more earning potential or they never pick up a second job to finance the life they want? Because they’re comfortable.
Being ok with something keeps you where you’re at. “Well, at least you’re not like those people” (those people being whoever has “less” than you). Hating something makes you take action. Because why would you live a life you hate? I thought I’d rather be comfortable than broke, and after years of being broke, then becoming comfortable, I can say, I’d rather be broke. I hate being broke.
“Good is the enemy of great.” – Jim Collins
Don’t settle. You deserve the best. Thanks for reading. ❤
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