If you are a dream-chaser, it may not feel like it, but you are one of the few. You are a brave soul who has built up the courage, or should I say found the courage you had all along, to move towards your DREAMS! The phrase “follow your dreams” sounds pretty and shiny, but really the journey to your dream is a road full of sharp turns, pot holes, steep hills that go super high and super low, and full of really REALLY bad drivers who don’t use their turn signals and try to steer you off track. The good news is that no matter what happens, the only mistake you could make is turning around, going back, and giving up.
To make your beautiful mess of a journey a little easier, I’ve gathered 10 things you need to know when you’re following your dreams. These make great reminders too!!
1. Your Journey is Different Than Others
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – President Theodore Roosevelt
Of course, social media has amplified the automatic judgement and comparison of other people we log on to our timeline. “Oh, Sarah is in Bali? Wow she must be doing great.” Yeah, Sarah IS in Bali, with her boyfriend she doesn’t like, while also escaping her real life where she doesn’t have any close friends and is up to her neck in debt. But, yes, her angles are so nice! Now, Sarah is some imaginary person I made up in my head, but I’m sure you probably know someone on your timeline who is putting up some beautiful pictures, but has a very different life off camera. And not just to pick on social media, but just look at the different success stories of people who “made it”. Most of them couldn’t have planned the people they met, the places they went, the experiences they had. We all have our own road we go on, our own struggles and successes, and we can’t judge ourselves if we seem “behind”. The grass may seem greener on the other side, but dammit, it’s MY GRASS!
2. Find Others Who Support You
Have you heard the saying “You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with?” Well, it’s true! And you are! Chances are that there are other dream-chasers who are looking for others to support them as much as you are looking for support! What does support look like to you? Does it look like someone sharing your social media posts? Someone to listen to you when you’ve had a bad day? Do they push you to dream bigger? Do they hold you accountable? Honestly, these are questions you can answer for yourself. And there are different friends for different things. I talk to a couple certain people when I have a bad day and I talk to a couple others as accountability partners. Non-supportive friends don’t take your dreams seriously, they are “too busy” any time you need to talk to them, and most of the time they are way too focused on themselves to support someone else anyway. In time they may come around, but don’t wait for them. Make sure you surround yourself with people who are actually excited when you grow, even if they aren’t growing with you.
3. You Don’t Need to Explain Yourself
Whew! This is a big one for me. When you share your moves and dreams with others, they may tend to ask a lot of questions. Why are you doing that? Why do you want that? Why are you making that move? Do you think it’ll work? Do you have everything planned? Hold up – am I dealing with the paparazzi here? Now, some of the time, people may genuinely be curious or they may be asking because they really care about you and your safety and security, but if you do not feel you have the energy to deal with a response that’s Rihanna refers to as “you turn your head to the side and look at me differently,” then you have no obligation to say any more than “because I want to”. That is sufficient! I have found that when people start asking me a million questions, I suddenly start giving them an elevator pitch as to why it’s a good idea that I do XYZ. And even if I don’t reel them in with my off the fly pitch, most people won’t understand anyway! And that’s ok because they aren’t the person on your journey to your dreams – YOU ARE! ❤
4. Listen to Yourself (and a Mentor)
If you have followed me for a bit, you may know that I really love and recommend meditation. It’s where I can calm my mind from it’s wild thoughts (another Rihanna shout out) and really tap into my inner self. I get very anxious and unfocused when I haven’t meditated in a while. It IS a practice, not a one time thing where you’re like “Ok I need to know if I should go on this date with this person” *eyes close for 5 minutes* “Ok yeah, I should go, I’m lonely”. (Just kidding). Meditation isn’t a magic 8 ball, it takes discipline and time and if I could quantify an ROI for it, the numbers would be off the charts. I may not get an idea for the next Uber or Amazon, but I can get something even more rare than that, something only I, AKA my higher self knows. And IN ADDITION to listening to yourself, find someone who is successful, preferably in your area or where you want to be, and follow them! If this is an in person mentor – great! If it is someone you follow online – awesome! But make sure they are feeding you positive, uplifting content that will ONLY move you closer to your dreams. No offense, but a picture of Kim Kardashian wearing a bustier may be uplifting “something” (lol), but definitely not my spirits. Feed your mind and attention with GREAT PEOPLE!!!
5. If You’re Not Uncomfortable, You’re Not Dreaming Big Enough
I don’t want to push you away from making small, incremental and CRUCIAL goals. Example: “Oh so me wanting to lose 2 pounds every week for the next three months isn’t “big” enough?” I’m not saying that at all. Those goals have a space, absolutely, but how about we kick it up a notch? Why are you losing that weight? To be more confident in your body? To actually wear a bathing suit the next time you go to the beach instead of keeping on shorts and a t-shirt? What if your goal was “In 6 months I will run a full marathon”. I can almost guarantee that while training for that marathon, you will definitely shed the unwanted weight AND challenge yourself in another way. And go buy the marathon race entry NOW!! Or say one of your dreams is to write a full-length movie script; turn your dream up a notch by exclaiming “I am going to write a full-length movie script within the next 6 months and when I’m finished, send it out to at least 30 producers and directors!” That’s scary! Now go write that script!
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Take a “Detour”
de·toura long or roundabout route that is taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.
Let’s just start off by saying, I’m not talking about the former part of the definition of “detour,” I’m talking about the latter. A detour isn’t quitting, it isn’t stopping, it isn’t going backwards; it is seeing something else along the way from your birth to your death. (Sorry to get all mortal on you there). Reminder: the path to your dreams is a JOURNEY, it is not a trip you take to get away. If you feel a location, a person, an opportunity calling you, just because it is not what you “should” be doing or what other people are doing, doesn’t mean it is the wrong move! Really take the time to reflect on what is important to you. Is it important that you push through whatever situation you’re in or do you want to see, taste, experience other things right now? Whatever feels right for you, may not feel the same for others and that is ok. Either way, don’t be afraid to make the decision.
7. Stay Optimistic
I read the other day that being optimistic does not equal to being positive and is not the opposite of being negative. That was a very important distinction for me. While I try to be positive most of the time, I can fall into the trap of negativity based off my current circumstances, who I surround myself with, falling into old patterns and habits and so on. But optimism, regardless of holding a positive or negative attitude, is having confidence in your future. This current time may be difficult right now, but man the future looks bright. My bank account or the clothes I wear do not define me and they never will, but I know one thing – my past does not equal my future. I never think that things are getting worse in my life. I know I am always learning and growing and am dedicated to moving my life in a positive and upward direction! Keep this attitude through everything and you will find that, as my mentor Ed Mylett says, life actually happens FOR you, not TO you.
8. People Will Fall Off
Lisa Nichols defines the three types of relationships we have in life – lifetime, life-giving, and purposeful. The lifetime relationship are those people who are here for the long haul – til the end. Life-giving relationships are those who invigorate your spirit and remind you of your passion for life and doing the things you love. The purposeful relationships fulfill a purpose and then they find a way out of your life. I’m sure you can put a lot of your friends, maybe even family into these categories. But it can be hard when a friend who you thought was a lifetime friend, actually turned out to be a purposeful friend. Maybe they came into your life to show you that you can be more of a free spirit or maybe to be a little more disciplined and focused on your dreams and goals. We don’t necessarily sit in our beds at night and classify people into these relationship categories, but they are helpful to know and also helpful in recovery of losing a friend. If you come to the end of a relationship, ask yourself “Were they providing me the value I needed at that point in my life? Was I providing THEM with the value THEY needed? I don’t want this to sound transactional, but asking yourself neutral questions is very beneficial in thinking critically – especially if you are caught up in the feelings of it all (feel those too!). Thank those past relationships and get ready for the new ones to come!
9. If It Excites You (or Scares You), You Should Probably Do It
A few months ago, a couple actor and comedian friends I write with told me that they were thinking about moving to Atlanta, GA. I was so excited for them! But wait, that sounds really freaking fun. But I can’t go! I mean, I’m already out in LA, where I want to be. Where I NEED to be. *my mind* “Says who-” *me* “everyone!”. The excitement kind of caught me off guard, I couldn’t really stop thinking for the next week about possibly moving to Atlanta. Was this just a fairy tale thought? Or did I really want to move? Then I thought, if my friends said “We want to move to Idaho” I would have absolutely no desire to go there. Or even if they said “We’re moving to NYC!” I’d be like, “Have fun in the winter!”. But there was something different about Atlanta. So then, of course, when I decided in my head I was moving to Atlanta, my brain starts it’s usual line of questioning “Are you sure? You’re leaving everything in LA? Are you ready? You’re going in THREE WEEKS? Can you even do that?”. Thanks, brain! When I started to uncover where those questions were coming from, I discovered it – FEAR. For some, it may just be as simple as writing a pros and cons list, but those can be a little biased because you’re…you, but at the end of the day, if it excites you, DO IT! (Yes, I am moving to Atlanta in three weeks!!)
10. Keep Going (Seriously)
The last and final thing to keep in mind when you are chasing your dreams is to KEEP GOING! I have a screensaver on my phone that has a black background and says in small white writing “you have to keep going…”. Why do you HAVE to keep going? Well, what else are you going to do? Quit? Do you realize the fact you are alive at this point in time is EXTREMELY RARE? A one in 400 trillion chance and you won. And now because within your 100 years or so of being alive, a few things haven’t gone your way, you’re going to GIVE UP living the life you WANT, DESERVE, and most importantly WERE BORN TO LIVE??? Nah. You’re gonna keep going. Not because you want to and have so much passion, not because people will call you a loser and a quitter if you don’t, and not because you have to prove to other people you can, but because YOU HAVE TO. Don’t give yourself a plan B!
“It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?” – Jim Carrey
My apologies I had to get all tough love on you at the end there, but I TRULY want you to chase your dreams! No matter what it takes, no matter about the naysayers, the obstacles, your fears, your ups and downs, down and outs, or whatever your silly ego brain may say to you – don’t let ANY of that get in the way of you and your dreams. YOU were made for this. YOU are here for a reason, a purpose. YOU are that purpose.
Now, brave soul, take that next step.
I hope you enjoyed this and it helped you with something that’s been on your mind – doubts, fears, worries. If you want to read more of my blogs, please follow this WordPress blog!
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