At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic I was laid off. This seemingly unfortunate event led me into a territory in which I felt an abundance of time had opened up for me to do what I really wanted – focus on my obsession and passion for self-development. I was so excited. I created a fantastic routine for myself that made the days go by quickly while checking off a lot on my get-to-do list, creating positive and funny content (check out my comedy on TikTok) and time to search out my deepest desires.
About a week into May, I had the opportunity to go home to Illinois for some time. Of course I wanted to see my family and since I was doing all of my work at home anyway I felt that I could transfer over to the new environment with my awesome routine, no problem. However, it wasn’t as easy as I thought. My routine in Los Angeles was to workout, shower, meditate, read, eat the same foods everyday – I never mind that – and then go to bed by 10pm, which excited me because that would mean I would be rested to wake up and do it again the next day! At home, even though the possibility of doing all of those things was very doable, I somehow lost my way.
The time change didn’t help but I won’t give that as an excuse as people travel all the time and deal with the consequences on their body. My mom’s workout room is more equipped than the one I have in LA, so the opportunity to do that was always there. They had a shower of course. I didn’t need any special place to meditate or journal, just somewhere quiet like a bedroom, which I also had. I brought more than enough books to read (I always do that). My family did have different foods, but I still had the ability to get creative and make the things that were best for my body. Basically, I’m trying to say, I had no excuse to change any part of my routine that was working so well for me.
I started out good – waking up, exercising, meditating, journaling, reading, my usual routine – but about 3 days in, I lost it. I found myself waking up later and because of the lost time, I went straight into work; I mean, who can blame me, I needed to get things done! In a short amount of time, even during that day, I started to feel not like myself.
Some side effects – I would find myself being short-tempered, staying away from people, and eating crappy foods (I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no matter how delicious a DiGiorno’s cheese stuffed crust pizza may look on the outside of the box, it never feels good inside the stomach). I would usually go to bed, reluctantly, feeling like crap and feeling the exact same when I woke up. “Must be the environment” I would tell myself, “It’s just different over here, but once I’m back in LA things will be back to normal”.
I found myself counting down the days until I would get back to “normal”.
What happened to my workouts? What happened to my meditation and journaling? What happened to my reading habits? Shoot, even my habit of taking a shower was postponed for a little bit (not too long, don’t worry.) I pushed them to the side and prioritized my work on my laptop over care for my mind, body, and soul. Was getting an Instagram post out on time really more important than centering myself in preparation for the day ahead? Were other people really waiting out there saying “Where’s Shay’s post? It’s not up yet, must be slacking”.
Then something snapped me out of it. Somewhere in all my crappiness, I was guided to reflect on why I was feeling so…crappy! (FYI, our body has a built-in guidance system. If you feel like crap, there’s probably a reason why. Stay aware of that). So I took a moment to think of how my few previous days had started – rolled out of bed, grabbed a cup of coffee, opened up my laptop and got to work. Rolled out of bed, grabbed a cup of coffee, opened my laptop and got to work. Rolled out of bed…you get the idea. On top of that, I have a 10-year old Mac that runs as slow as a 100 year old Mac, I’m pretty certain of it, and with that combined with a terrible backwoods internet connection, my days were almost promised to go sideways. But I didn’t have to.
This small realization came two days before I was headed back to LA. With a few minutes of reflection, I decided NO MORE to skipping my morning routine. It became NON-NEGOTIABLE. Needless to say, but I’ll share anyways, the last two days I spent at home, were full of the best conversations with my family and some of the best times. Ever. Seriously. Whether I would have done my morning routine or not they all still might have happened but the way I experienced them definitely would have been different. I was more patient, I was a better listener, and I felt like it was so easy to speak from my heart. All because I took my morning routine, 2 hours, 4.8 percent of my day, to get my mind, body, and soul right to have a better experience throughout the rest 95%. That’s a pretty good ROI.
I no longer have a morning routine, I have NON-NEGOTIABLES – daily activities that have NO negotiation power with me. We make decisions all day, everyday – “What time should I get up?,” “What should I eat?,” “What workout should I do?” – make it easier on yourself by taking out some of those decisions and making them NON-NEGOTIABLE.
My two hours of NON-NEGOTIABLES all come before I check my phone, email, social media, or any other external source. Before dealing with the outside world I make sure to set myself up for success by preparing my inside world.
Reminder: Your outside world is a reflection of what’s inside of you. If you are feeling good and positive inside you will reflect and attract good and positivity on the outside. If you are feeling bad and negative you will find a lot of bad and negative in the outside world (The Law of Attraction in a nutshell). Set yourself up for success by creating NON-NEGOTIABLES EVERYDAY. Even if I sleep in, I still start the day with my NON-NEGOTIABLES.
And let’s be honest, the story from the beginning happens from time to time. We catch ourselves in routines that prioritize the external over our internal, I get that and can relate more times than not. But creating the idea of NON-NEGOTIABLES for myself has really shifted something in my mind to wake up and the first thing I do, is focus on what I can control. The uncontrollables are always going to be coming at us, there is no doubt, but if we can harness the power of controlling ourselves inside, the outside doesn’t stand a chance.
Maybe this idea can work for you too. What do you think? What are your non-negotiables? Leave a comment below!
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Cover Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
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