Life-Wasters: What They Are, How to Stop Them & How to Start Living

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” – Peace Pilgrim

I’d like to discuss a very dangerous issue these days and that is LIFE-WASTERS. These aren’t the same as time-wasters like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tik Tok, Netflix, Hulu, etc. LIFE-WASTERS are self-doubt, worry, and insecurities, among many other thoughts, habits, and feelings we have that stop us from moving forward in our lives. When is the last time you have spent hours on social media or watching TV? Was it because you really wanted to? Or was it because you were avoiding doing things in your life that scare you or you believed you didn’t have the ability to do? Both instances could apply, no doubt, but that is where self-awareness comes in.

I haven’t known my purpose in life since I was a child, like some people, but I do know that if I would have lowered my self-doubt and increased my confidence or lowered my worry and increased my certainty at an earlier age, I would not be where I am today. I’m not even talking negatively about where I am today. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to do the work that I want at a time like this, but what I am upset about is the fact that those previous years, I held myself back. Because of insecurities, thinking I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t have any skills, or comparing myself to others (that’s a HUGE one!) I have WASTED years of myself, my potential, and MY LIFE.

For the longest time I always thought I just didn’t have the discipline to do the things I wanted to do. I’ve wanted to start a blog, I’ve wanted to put videos up on YouTube. I’ve wanted six pack abs. Unfortunately, I’ve started a lot of things that I’ve never finished. What I realize now is that discipline was never the issue, it was the lack of belief I had in myself to do all of those things. Start a blog? What do I know? Why would people want to read what I have to say? There are hundreds, thousands of other people who can write better than me, who have better stories than me, and who have more time than me. YouTube? What’s so interesting about my life? I don’t have any fancy cars or a fancy house. I’m just a regular girl going to school and living life. Also, I’m gay and scared to talk about it (that’s a whole other blog post). Having a six pack? Those people are robots. They never enjoy themselves and the food around them – and I just can’t resist a donut.

I’m here to tell you, all of that is bullsh*t.

There are people out there who have blogs about their pets, about their gardens, about almost nothing and people still love reading them because those people are real and they aren’t afraid to share their lives with others. YouTubers – there are people who just talk to the cameras about their day and get thousands of views! They may eventually branch out and do more things and create different content but in order to get 100 videos on YouTube you have to start with one AND that starts with a belief you have something to talk about. Guess what? You do. Now I know plenty of people who have six pack abs and are some of the happiest and healthiest people I know who enjoy the heck out of life. And also I’m happy to announce – I can say no to a donut.

I don’t have all the answers as to what eradicates self-doubt and LIFE-WASTERS, but I will share with you three ways that I have been able to become more confident in putting my work out there and sharing my story.

1. FEED YOUR MIND GOOD THINGS

I listen to several podcasts, watch YouTube videos, and read almost every day. The podcasts include The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes, The Ed Mylett Show, and Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, and The Brendon Show with Brendon Burchard. I also watch the videos on their YouTube channels along with Evan Carmichael’s channel where he compiles speeches, talks, videos and more from some of the most successful people in the world (Diddy, Oprah, Will Smith) and puts them in condensed videos for you to sink your teeth into. I also read a lot of self development books. The one I’m currently reading, for the second time, is A Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Gikandi. I have also read a lot of Tony Robbins’ books, The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard, Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink,and The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Please don’t be overwhelmed by this list, these are just some great books I would recommend to anyone. I have been a part of a weekly book club for the past two years and that has allowed me to dive deeper into books and realize the importance of knowledge from the most successful people in the world.

2. HAVE SOME ALONE TIME

Turn off the TV, turn off the phone, turn off the notifications, and turn off the chatter. Meditation has been such a great tool for me to listen to myself (mostly my higher Self) and understand what I really want out of life. I rarely sit in silence, I mostly do guided meditations. I also listen to meditations when I sleep – specifically Dauchsy Meditations. The meditation teachers I follow are Deepak Chopra, Bob Proctor and Tony Robbins. In addition to meditation, I journal. It is not an everyday practice, but when I feel I need to get something out on paper, I don’t hesitate. I have found that it is easier to plan, sort through my thoughts, and get any negative feelings out that I’m having at the time.

3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Don’t give in to gossip or negativity. You have a choice and an obligation to yourself to be around people who support you, who are like-minded, and are also growing. As my friend Yancy Berry, who is a top personal trainer and life coach here in LA, says, if you’re not growing you’re going. If you’re reading this, you’re probably on a journey of growth; find others who are too. We are in quarantine right now so it may seem a little difficult to get around people, but what’s amazing about the time we live in right now? We have the internet and we can connect with others from the palm of our hands. My social media feed is full of successful and positive people. If I am ever feeling down and need a little inspiration or motivation I go to my feed because I know something will be there that I need to see that will get me back in the right mindset. Whereas if your feed is full of crap, you’ll probably feel that way too.

These are just a few examples from my life and a few ways I have learned to really step into myself and my potential. If you have a desire to do something and you let go of the self-doubt, the worries, the insecurities and do your thing, imagine what that would look like in 5 years, in one year, in a month! I bet you would see some pretty incredible changes, not only externally but most importantly internally.

So let go, right now. Make the decision that you will do better. Not perfect, but better. Promise yourself you will stop wasting your life and instead, you will start living it.

Level Up! With Shay